Lagos, Nigeria – October 4, 2025 – In a sermon that’s rippling through Nigeria’s evangelical circles and beyond, Lead Pastor of Harvesters International Christian Centre (HICC), Bolaji Idowu, has unleashed a torrent of reactions with his unapologetic take on marital roles. During a midweek service at the church’s expansive Gbagada headquarters, the 40-something firebrand preacher told female congregants, “Ladies, you are not called to build your man; you are called to support your man,” framing it as a biblical mandate to avoid “overstepping” divine order in relationships.
The clip from the sermon, shared on HICC’s official X and Instagram platforms, exploded overnight, amassing over 500,000 views and igniting a polarized debate that’s trending under #SupportNotBuild and #PastorBolajiSpeaks. Pastor Idowu, whose “Rise” conference draws thousands annually and whose online ministry boasts millions of followers, elaborated that women often “carry the builder’s burden” – fixing emotional, financial, or spiritual gaps in their partners – only to breed resentment. “Your role is to support what God has already built,” he emphasized, citing Proverbs 31 and Ephesians 5 to underscore complementary, not compensatory, partnerships. For many in his youthful audience, it’s a refreshing reset amid rising divorce rates among Nigerian millennials.
But the message hasn’t landed softly. Feminist voices and relationship coaches are pushing back hard, accusing Idowu of peddling outdated patriarchy dressed in scripture. “So women are cheerleaders while men fumble? Nah, building is mutual – or stay single,” tweeted influencer @TaraEbi, whose post garnered 10,000 retweets. Others, like podcaster Ifeoma Okafor, called it “spiritual gaslighting,” arguing it ignores real-world dynamics where women already shoulder disproportionate loads in African homes. On the flip side, supporters – including male pastors and married couples – are hailing it as “kingdom truth,” with one X user quipping, “Finally, a pastor telling wives to let husbands lead without the training wheels. #SupportYourMan.”
This isn’t Idowu’s first foray into controversy; his 2023 series on “ungodly soul ties” sparked similar uproar, but it also boosted HICC’s membership by 20%. A Harvard-trained engineer turned full-time minister, the Lagos native blends sharp intellect with street-savvy Pidgin, making his teachings go viral from Abuja to Atlanta. As the debate rages – with memes of “builder wives” wielding hammers juxtaposed against “supportive” pom-poms – it’s clear the sermon has struck a nerve in a society grappling with evolving gender norms post-#EndSARS and amid economic strains that blur traditional roles.
Idowu, unfazed by the backlash, teased a follow-up session for men on “stepping up as builders” in his latest story, hinting at balance in the blueprint. Whether this cements his rep as a provocateur or prophet remains to be seen, but one thing’s certain: in Nigeria’s faith-fueled discourse, Pastor Bolaji’s words are building – or supporting? – a movement all their own.
What’s your take – support squad or builder’s burden? Drop it in the comments, and catch the full sermon on HICC’s YouTube (@HarvestersIntl).